My husband and I have been married for twenty-three years now. Sometimes it seems like yesterday we married and others it seems like forever. There are days the road seems smooth and others I think my carriage must have a flat, because the road is way too bumpy. Between us we have five children. My husband came with two and I too brought my two beautiful daughters into our marriage. Together we had our son, Jacob. He was the child that seemed to tie our family together. I must say when we were raising our children, we didn't use words as, step, half or mine. We were simply a family. Was it always easy? No, not on your life, but we found ways to make it work. We put our children first. Now, some might think that is how you should begin your marriage, but my friends, you must put the Lord first, then your marriage. The Lord is the foundation in which everything else builds. Next, your marriage must stand strong. It is this very relationship that your children will witness and learn from. A happy and healthy marriage makes happy children and a healthy family.
It's doing those special things with each other. It's sharing a quiet dinner or a walk in the park. It's taking even just a few minutes a day to hold each other's hand and just dream together. It's knocking yourself out for your husband and he too, knocking himself out for you. It's making time for one another. Too often we make time for what we want and forget making time for what is important. When we don't make time for one another our marriage can only suffer and ours did.
In looking back I know I was a wonderful mother. I had a close bond with my children, but somehow I was pushing my husband out of view. I wasn't even meaning to, but it was happening. Have you too been there? I know when my husband and I would try to plan a night away, one of our children would need us. We would put our bags back in the closets and place our child first. There is nothing wrong with that, but over time we stopped planning. We stopped dreaming and became more so of room mates than husband and wife. It is a trap that is easy to fall into and one that is even harder to grow out of.
I pray for my husband every day as he too prays for me. We have learned not to hold in our feelings, but to share everything. We have learned to let other things go and take time for one another. Marriage is a gift from the Lord. May we not forget and lose heart, but go to the Lord in prayer asking Him to strengthen our marriage. To build our home on His foundation and give us a heart for Him. I learned I cannot look to my husband to complete me. I cannot look to my husband for each need to fill my soul. Only the Lord can meet those needs. When I can find who I am through the Lord I am free to be the woman God has called me to be for my husband.
If you are going through a difficult passage don't give up. It is through those trials that we learn so very much about ourselves and each other. Struggles have a way of bringing us together when we take our eyes off ourselves and simply place them upon the Lord. He will meet our needs and bring healing when we reach out to Him, making Him the Lord of our home. I believe it is the Lord who will help us find that very slipper we lost along the way.
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." Ephesians 5:22-33
also for the interests of others." Philippians 2:1-4